Day 12 of what I am thankful for....

Today I am thankful for all of the Trevin Hunte's of the world. There are many people like him out there. People who have been told by important people or role models in their lives that they will never be anything. Each time, these human beings are having their spirit shattered. And yet, the Trevin's of the world just use that as their motivation to be something better than anyone ever imagined. Every time we get to see a Trevin using all of the negative energy as fuel for their fire, it inspires us all to keep pushing forward too. Today as I sit here and watch Trevin triumph once again I smile because I know somewhere out there is a woman who is eating her words. And every time she sees him on TV and hears his amazing voice, she is just sitting there getting served. So if someone says you can't do it, do it anyway and add a little flare. If they tell you that you don't matter, don't rest until you find the one that says you do. Somewhere out there I believe that person exists for everyone, you just have to find them. And if they tell you that you are not worth the energy, put your energy into something more deserving and remember that one day they will all eat their words :)

Day 11 of what I am thankful for...

Today I am thankful for the 8 years I spent as a military wife. I remember for a long time I hated being a military wife. It felt like I was saying goodbye more often than I was getting to stay, I could never get comfortable with anything, because I knew that at some point the military would change their plans for my family, and it was hard to be dependable to anyone when everything was constantly changing. Being a military wife meant home was where the Army sent me, not necessarily where my heart was. For a while there, I got wrapped up in the negative aspects, wishing for it to end but knowing it wouldn't. I was constantly explaining to my children why there father was gone, why we didn’t have that many friends, and why all of our furniture had cracks. It was exhausting to say the least. But over the years I finally got used to the idea that I had to make every second count, so I stopped wasting them. I realized that at any moment the military could take away a best friend, so I loved them as hard as I could while they were there. I knew there was no point in getting attached to furniture that would just get damaged in the next move, so I stopped worrying about the things I had, and started caring more about other more important aspects of life. I got accustomed to sleeping alone, so the nights he was there were just that much sweeter. The day he got out of the military I remember finally being able to breathe again. It meant that finally things could start to get normal. But now I know that nothing is ever really normal. Being a military wife prepared me for real life, for hard times, and crying children asking why their daddy is gone. Thank goodness for the military, because those 8 years were really just preparing me for this. 

For all of my military wives out there, I love you

Day 10 of what I am thankful for...

Today I am thankful for time. The funny thing about time is we all have the exact same amount. We all say we don't have enough and wish we could have a little more but either way, time keeps moving, so if we dwell on not having enough, we have just wasted a little more. Sometimes it is hard for me to fathom all of the things I pack into one day but all the while I am constantly aware that my time is running out. So I don't dwell on things I can't change, or all of the dumb things I see people doing because quite frankly I don't have time to worry about the time they are wasting. Besides the best gift you can give to anyone, especially your children is your time. No amount of money, appeasements, or trinkets will ever mean as much as taking time out of your day and giving someone your time. I find that I give away so much of my time to so many others that there is rarely ever any left for me but either way I am whole because even if it is the only thing I am able to give, I know how much it is appreciated. I'm wasting time just writing this post about being thankful for time so I will end this with one last thought. If I could ever give anyone advice it would be this. Stop worrying about how everyone else wastes their time. All you can worry about is how you use yours.

Day 9 of what I am thankful for....

Today I am thankful for Mike. He is an annoying prick sometimes. He is hard headed and he thinks he knows it all. But he is an amazing dad, a loving husband, and my friend. He always finds a way to make me laugh and I know he always has my back. I frustrate him just as much as he frustrates me but we always call each other out on our bullshit, adjust as needed, and keep it moving. In a world where we are all just trying to improve ourselves, we all need a friend like that in our lives. Someone who isn't afraid to tell you you are acting like an idiot and then pat you on the back an tell you how much they care. If you don't have a friend like this yet, you should probably get on that because I am thankful every day that I have found mine.

Day 8 of what I am thankful for...

Today I am thankful for dirty dishes, piles of laundry, stuff to dust, beds to make, and carpets to vacuum. Sure I wish 30% of my day wasn't a bunch of housework. I would much rather be playing with Charlie, chasing the kids around, at the park, or taking a bath, but like anything else it's gotta get done. I dread the idea that I will spend 3 hours folding all of the loads and putting it away. I dread knowing that tomorrow I have to finish cleaning the mess in the art room. I am not looking forward to cleaning up the kitchen after dinner tomorrow or vacuuming at the end of the day. But I realize this just means that I am fortunate. I am not worried about not having enough food and I have the means to provide wonderful meals for my family. We have clothes on our back, plenty of creative projects to keep us busy, and a place that we call home. My life now is a far cry from the days when I was homeless and trying to find a safe area to sleep every night. Back then there were no chores, no dishes to wash, and no messes to clean. I guess I’m thankful that I get to wake up every day and clean because it’s better than having nothing at all. :)

Day 7 of what I am thankful for…

Today I am thankful for all those who have abandoned me. And I know what you are thinking right now…. I know it sounds crazy. But although being abandoned is always a painful process, it is one I have become accustomed to. You see, I have been abandoned so many times by so many people; people I loved, friends, family, at times even by myself. I was abandoned by own mother before I was even born. I have been abandoned by so many that I spent a good portion of my life de-valuing myself. Most of us have been abandoned at some point so we all know it is painful as hell. And yet we keep trusting anyway. I for a while thought it was because we are gluttons for punishment. But eventually it all began to make sense. From the moment I entered the race, the odds were stacked against me. I was at the starting line being told by the world that there was no point in running. But I ran anyway. And even though the race has been long at times and I have fallen so many times, I still keep getting back up. And even if I reach the finish line and the world still tells me I failed, it won’t really matter. That was never the point anyway. I’ve learned that I have nothing to prove to anyone. I’m running this race for me and because of all those that have abandoned me along the way, I am seasoned, I am faster, and I run the race smarter. Besides, I can’t give up now! In the words of Stuart Smalley, "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

Day 6 of what I am thankful for...

oddly enough, today I am thankful for tears. I by no means enjoy crying but there is something so unique about tears. This last week I have cried harder than I ever imagined I would. And for the first few days they were painful and exhausting tears. Tears are like built in therapy, they have this way of washing away the pain. Then I started having moments that were so profoundly amazing and touching I found that the tears began to fall again but for totally different reasons. I haven't cried in a couple of days now. Although I imagine I will still have moments where I'll have to rely on tears to wash away the sadness, I'm not afraid of those moments of weakness. I have learned to embrace them because tears remind me that I am still human, that I am here, and that I can still feel. Right now that feels like a whole lot. :)